Sunday, July 28, 2013

Last Days Of Remy

My darling, your days on this blue orb are soon to end
to heaven will your soul the angels send.
The colors will fade from late summer's cloaks.
Seems I have missed most of Summer allready,
taking care of you both burden and privilege.
Long gone are the days when we laughed at each other's jokes,
pretending that we were just youngsters again going steady.
I will not do anything once you pass, to tarnish those happy memories.
That would be sacrilege!
Everyone says you look like you're just fine, not wanting to displease.
They want to bow and scrape and pay you homage.
You just are not overtly in the dying mode.  Not just yet.
You are too much of a fighter, too tough even for a little thing.  Not one to fret.
But, it has caught up to you my love.

There outside the window coos a pure white dove.
Soon your eyes will blankly stare from your frail punished frame,
across the hospice room towards the Blessed Mary, always
your saint.  Your already shallow breathing will finally stop.  Feel no shame,
you have lived your life fully, given all there is to give to our children.
But now we must part physically and go our separate ways.
Here in our room in the mountains, I bet that you can already see the sea.
I have had that feeling that you were in the air floating around me, looking down upon me.
Goodbye my love, my life's companion!
O evil, cruel world that does this to such good and gracious folk!

Now you are gone.
My world feels empty.
My strength sapped away
by grief so deep I have nought to say.
Tears had already flowed so much I have none left to shed.
Heart crushed like rose petals in a book.
As they have work to do on you now, I take one last look.

I must leave you for just a little while.
I have children to tend to.
To tell them their Mother is gone.  Forever.
You whose tremendous soul was so large that now your remaining body is light as a feather.
Help me, Dear, with this task I must do.
I fear I am not up to it.  To it, I must however reconcile.

I will have many more tasks to complete in days to come.
Then the months and years to make it through.  Alone.
I will remember your words to me on this: stay alive, stay useful.
For the children.

And so I shall, I shall rise up!
I will conquer the day.
Make it mine.
Starting one step at a time, and then with your wedding ring next to mine,
take great leaps forth in memory of you.
Together, there is nothing we cannot do!

Breathe, dammit, breathe!, I tell myself.
As I reach up for coffee on the shelf.
But no breath came.
The empty house around me, quiet as a mouse.
Kids long grown up and moved away.
Here alone every day
I saw my past go flashing by.
Catch me, honey bunny, like you always do!
And you did, but where were we?
Bright green, flowered hillsides ran along a clear mountain stream.
Off in the distance, I spied white sands bracing against some ocean's waves.
Here and there, shining gold showed forth.
But, it was you that captured my attention.
You in all your glory.
We both seem to be gleaming
and were pefect in our youth.
And the music!  I could not quite put my finger on it.
I was now standing beside you.  Breathing.
Born again with each other, we strolled off hand-in-hand into the great land.
We both knew that our children would be OK now.

mindbringer, 27 July 2013