Wednesday, October 23, 2013

The Third Month

So much of you is no longer moving,
leaving those left behind wondering what happened.
Nothing left of you but ashes, an empty bed and hopes
that you are somewhere better than before,
in some form or another that can visit me.
In some existence that can aid me,
comfort me, just be with me.
Yes, just be with me.

We all hear the noises though, the voices that echo
eerily through the otherwise silence of the night,
and the quick glimpses we've had of the inexplicable.

It has been so long,
three months now.
The pain still so real.
It is hard to know just how to feel.
Feel one way, I then feel guilty.
Feel another, I then feel angry.
Feel still another way, I then feel all alone.
It seems I never will feel normal again.
Whatever normal is.
I am in a "new normal" the counselors say.
Unfortunately, my mind, my heart, my soul
is still in the old normal.

Pray that I never forget what that was.
The love that we forged in fits for thirty-one years.
Our children that you bore, now motherless.
The only thing I can really feel now
is the growing pit in my stomach.
Growing from truly realizing that you are gone.
Gone from this troubled world.
Streaming across the heavens with your banner unfurled.
The banner that says, "Don't forget to live.  That is what
the duty of the living is.  Live each day as if it was your last.
Cherish your loved ones as if you may never see them again.
Love them as deeply as you can."

That I can only try, but you must help me.
Help me.  And...pray for me.

mindbringer, 22 October 2013